Rebecca Parker Payne
writer, woman, wife and everything. believer in whiskey, bluegrass, and flannery o’connor.
55 posts
What I Will Tell My Daughter About The Year She Was Born

There are a few TED talks about what we tell our daughters, something I think about all the time these days. I am grateful to not be the only one asking these questions that I don't have answers to.   In the year you born, I cried for so many things out of my control. I cried for Mosby court and Creighton, for John Marshall High School, and for the...

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My Undoing

UPDATE: I wrote this (obviously) pre-baby. Since writing this, we welcomed our first child, a daughter, into this beautiful and terrible world. All the feelings I express here -- the helplessness and the gratitude -- ring all the more true now. -- My daughter was due last Wednesday. Currently, it’s Saturday. The doctor claims that all systems are “a go," but for some reason, she’s pretty happy in her cocoon. She...

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SEE YA 2016

2016 is gone. And while no one is more ready to say goodbye to this year and face 2017 with hopeful anticipation, I'd be remiss if I didn't yet again number my joys from these past 12 months. Because we have to remember the good, to carry with us the moments and things that brought light into dark places. The old scriptures have many references to remembering. There's so much...

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The Both/And of Advent

Let my soul rise up to meet you, as the day rises to meet the sun... I’ve done a lot soul-searching over the past year, and a whole lot of dealing with all my— let’s call it— complexity. And one particular aspect of this complexity, is that I feel a lot of emotions. Like, lots and lots of feelings. However, it is hard for me to process them, and it’s...

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Life, In Exponents

Last month, I played matron of honor at my youngest sister's wedding. I cried, I laughed, I toasted and danced. Then, within 6 days of that, I said goodbye to my grandmother. I kissed her hands, and wrote an obituary. What I want out of life is for it to come in ones. One event, one emotion, one holistic experience. But that doesn't happen. Life comes in exponents instead-- joy, sadness,...

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