39 posts
My Undoing

UPDATE: I wrote this (obviously) pre-baby. Since writing this, we welcomed our first child, a daughter, into this beautiful and terrible world. All the feelings I express here -- the helplessness and the gratitude -- ring all the more true now. -- My daughter was due last Wednesday. Currently, it’s Saturday. The doctor claims that all systems are “a go," but for some reason, she’s pretty happy in her cocoon. She...

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SEE YA 2016

2016 is gone. And while no one is more ready to say goodbye to this year and face 2017 with hopeful anticipation, I'd be remiss if I didn't yet again number my joys from these past 12 months. Because we have to remember the good, to carry with us the moments and things that brought light into dark places. The old scriptures have many references to remembering. There's so much...

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nothing to do with it

Chris and I went on an enneagram retreat recently. It was two full days of white-knuckled self-awareness. Two full days of I'd rather pull the covers over my face and hide forever.  But after two days of total and complete denial, we relented because it's far easier to just be at truth with your self, than to try to keep writing your own perfect narrative of your own very less-than-perfect self....

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2015: A Year in Review

2015 was a year of a lot. Just, really, a lot. A lot of changes, a lot of feelings, a lot of beginnings to understand things about myself, about Chris, about the life we want. In all honesty, this is the year where the rubber met the road or perhaps more accurately, where the deep, gross, hidden stuff hit the fan. Life quieted enough for us to see who we...

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Wendell Berry: Where to start?

Linger around here long enough (eh, maybe read one blog post) and you'll find that I'm quite stuck on Wendell Berry and have been for years now. There also a good bit of Wendell propaganda that I spread, like how I coerced my husband that naming our dog after a living writer/poet was a good idea. His writings have lifted me out of dark places, given words to my feelings, and...

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