43 posts
When the Lights Don’t Work

I keep stringing Christmas lights this year. They're going everywhere-- over all the walls and windows, bookcases and mantles. These small white flecks of light have always comforted me,  a curtain of warmth to the unmet expectations and aches of the season.  This year I find myself putting up more lights. More lights and more lights and more lights. I'm looking for the ache to dissipate, as if just another...

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A Year of Motherhood

It’s been a year since Nellie was born. It’s been a year since I became a mother. It’s been a year since I labored new life into this world — for her and for myself. That’s the thing about having a baby, the newness of life isn't just exclusive to the tiny human. In that second between Nellie cocooned and warm in my belly, to when she was taking her first...

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2017: Ya Done

Year end wrap-ups before the end of the year?! That's for the overachievers. Or the regular achievers who can follow a calendar. Which, let's be honest, is usually me. But not this year. Lots of things have felt "usually me" but, well, "not me this year." This year, I've had a lot more tiny moments of being entirely unproductive. (More like feeling entirely unproductive since carrying a child, keeping said child alive,...

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What I Will Tell My Daughter About The Year She Was Born

There are a few TED talks about what we tell our daughters, something I think about all the time these days. I am grateful to not be the only one asking these questions that I don't have answers to.   In the year you born, I cried for so many things out of my control. I cried for Mosby court and Creighton, for John Marshall High School, and for the...

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My Undoing

UPDATE: I wrote this (obviously) pre-baby. Since writing this, we welcomed our first child, a daughter, into this beautiful and terrible world. All the feelings I express here -- the helplessness and the gratitude -- ring all the more true now. -- My daughter was due last Wednesday. Currently, it’s Saturday. The doctor claims that all systems are “a go," but for some reason, she’s pretty happy in her cocoon. She...

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