Y’all. I’m tired. Tired with the keeping up and the doing everything. All the writing, all the events, all the time.
Our versions of “doing everything” are all unique to us, but the effects are all the same. What is my burden of accomplishment? What do I delay rest for? What do I let eat at me, with guilt and fear until I satiate it?
It’s something I’ve dealt with for a while now, but here I am again trying– picking, choosing, and throwing my name back in the ring.
I have a say here! My best self tries to shout, but it comes out more like a defeated whisper. I am not just tossed about on the seas of commitments and obligations like a hapless floater.
Because I want to enjoy my commitments. But in order to do this, I want to know my limits and I want to know freedom. I want to know the limits of when to say yes and when to say no, when to stretch myself, when to rest. But I want the freedom to make decisions without guilt or worry or fear that I’m the worst writer/friend/housekeeper/grocery shopper/runner/church goer/etc.
And I want to be the person that recognizes this wrestling in those around me, and maybe helps to free them in a tiny way to make better decisions too. How, now, can we do this for ourselves and for each other?